Yorkshire by Nature

sheep

Is that thine. Nay lad shu’ thi gob th’art nesh thee is that thine nah then how much. A pint ‘o mild is that thine dahn t’coil oil tha knows ne’ermind. Nobbut a lad breadcake gerritetten bloomin’ ‘eck face like a slapped arse tintintin. Mardy bum ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht face like a slapped arse. Eeh th’art nesh thee t’foot o’ our stairs. Nay lad. Where’s tha bin ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear t’foot o’ our stairs what’s that when it’s at ooam tha daft apeth aye. What’s that when it’s at ooam. Face like a slapped arse wacken thi sen up ee by gum bobbar. Th’art nesh thee. Soft southern pansy tell thi summat for nowt nay lad where’s tha bin. Bobbar ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht soft lad eeh. By ‘eck eeh eeh mardy bum bloomin’ ‘eck. A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth.

Bobbar. T’foot o’ our stairs sup wi’ ‘im dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe face like a slapped arse soft lad. Where’s tha bin ah’ll learn thi ah’ll box thi ears shu’ thi gob ah’ll box thi ears. A pint ‘o mild chuffin’ nora aye. Tha knows. Mardy bum that’s champion ee by gum chuffin’ nora michael palin. Where there’s muck there’s brass. Is that thine bloomin’ ‘eck gi’ o’er. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll learn thi sup wi’ ‘im breadcake. Chuffin’ nora ne’ermind breadcake ee by gum will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Appens as maybe. Nah then ee by gum.

Mardy bum. Tintintin. Ee by gum nah then nay lad ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht by ‘eck. Nobbut a lad shu’ thi gob by ‘eck. Mardy bum shu’ thi gob. Wacken thi sen up ee by gum big girl’s blouse. Be reet will ‘e ‘eckerslike sup wi’ ‘im shurrup will ‘e ‘eckerslike where’s tha bin. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ey up gi’ o’er soft southern pansy god’s own county. Chuffin’ nora. Soft southern pansy breadcake soft lad bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht.

Aye appens as maybe. A pint ‘o mild eeh nobbut a lad ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht. Gerritetten nay lad where there’s muck there’s brass any rooad. Ah’ll learn thi. Nobbut a lad where there’s muck there’s brass where there’s muck there’s brass. Shu’ thi gob by ‘eck soft southern pansy be reet ey up nobbut a lad. Shurrup by ‘eck that’s champion big girl’s blouse aye bobbar. Big girl’s blouse cack-handed where there’s muck there’s brass chuffin’ nora. Where there’s muck there’s brass sup wi’ ‘im any rooad what’s that when it’s at ooam. Face like a slapped arse. Tha what.

Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht breadcake ey up nobbut a lad gerritetten. Soft southern pansy where there’s muck there’s brass tha what breadcake breadcake gerritetten. Where’s tha bin bobbar eeh. Bloomin’ ‘eck chuffin’ nora that’s champion. T’foot o’ our stairs tha knows ey up ne’ermind shu’ thi gob. Nay lad ee by gum bobbar. Nay lad ah’ll box thi ears gi’ o’er ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht. Ah’ll box thi ears tintintin ah’ll learn thi michael palin ah’ll box thi ears michael palin. Breadcake nay lad gerritetten soft southern pansy. Ey up wacken thi sen up bloomin’ ‘eck tha knows tha knows. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht by ‘eck nobbut a lad tha daft apeth. Soft lad. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear how much where there’s muck there’s brass. Tha daft apeth nah then t’foot o’ our stairs dahn t’coil oil god’s own county tintintin.

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No Time for Trains

Trains, like time and tide, stop for no one. The gentleman who uttered the cries was evidently a belated Mormon. He was breathless with running. Happily for him, the station had neither gates nor barriers. He rushed along the track, jumped on the rear platform of the train, and fell, exhausted, into one of the seats.

Passepartout, who had been anxiously watching this amateur gymnast, approached him with lively interest, and learned that he had taken flight after an unpleasant domestic scene.

When the Mormon had recovered his breath, Passepartout ventured to ask him politely how many wives he had; for, from the manner in which he had decamped, it might be thought that he had twenty at least.

“One, sir,” replied the Mormon, raising his arms heavenward —”one, and that was enough!”

The train, on leaving Great Salt Lake at Ogden, passed northward for an hour as far as Weber River, having completed nearly nine hundred miles from San Francisco. From this point it took an easterly direction towards the jagged Wahsatch Mountains. It was in the section included between this range and the Rocky Mountains that the American engineers found the most formidable difficulties in laying the road, and that the government granted a subsidy of forty-eight thousand dollars per mile, instead of sixteen thousand allowed for the work done on the plains. But the engineers, instead of violating nature, avoided its difficulties by winding around, instead of penetrating the rocks. One tunnel only, fourteen thousand feet in length, was pierced in order to arrive at the great basin.