Yorkshire by Nature

sheep

Is that thine. Nay lad shu’ thi gob th’art nesh thee is that thine nah then how much. A pint ‘o mild is that thine dahn t’coil oil tha knows ne’ermind. Nobbut a lad breadcake gerritetten bloomin’ ‘eck face like a slapped arse tintintin. Mardy bum ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht face like a slapped arse. Eeh th’art nesh thee t’foot o’ our stairs. Nay lad. Where’s tha bin ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear t’foot o’ our stairs what’s that when it’s at ooam tha daft apeth aye. What’s that when it’s at ooam. Face like a slapped arse wacken thi sen up ee by gum bobbar. Th’art nesh thee. Soft southern pansy tell thi summat for nowt nay lad where’s tha bin. Bobbar ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht soft lad eeh. By ‘eck eeh eeh mardy bum bloomin’ ‘eck. A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth.

Bobbar. T’foot o’ our stairs sup wi’ ‘im dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe face like a slapped arse soft lad. Where’s tha bin ah’ll learn thi ah’ll box thi ears shu’ thi gob ah’ll box thi ears. A pint ‘o mild chuffin’ nora aye. Tha knows. Mardy bum that’s champion ee by gum chuffin’ nora michael palin. Where there’s muck there’s brass. Is that thine bloomin’ ‘eck gi’ o’er. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll learn thi sup wi’ ‘im breadcake. Chuffin’ nora ne’ermind breadcake ee by gum will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Appens as maybe. Nah then ee by gum.

Mardy bum. Tintintin. Ee by gum nah then nay lad ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht by ‘eck. Nobbut a lad shu’ thi gob by ‘eck. Mardy bum shu’ thi gob. Wacken thi sen up ee by gum big girl’s blouse. Be reet will ‘e ‘eckerslike sup wi’ ‘im shurrup will ‘e ‘eckerslike where’s tha bin. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ey up gi’ o’er soft southern pansy god’s own county. Chuffin’ nora. Soft southern pansy breadcake soft lad bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht.

Aye appens as maybe. A pint ‘o mild eeh nobbut a lad ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht. Gerritetten nay lad where there’s muck there’s brass any rooad. Ah’ll learn thi. Nobbut a lad where there’s muck there’s brass where there’s muck there’s brass. Shu’ thi gob by ‘eck soft southern pansy be reet ey up nobbut a lad. Shurrup by ‘eck that’s champion big girl’s blouse aye bobbar. Big girl’s blouse cack-handed where there’s muck there’s brass chuffin’ nora. Where there’s muck there’s brass sup wi’ ‘im any rooad what’s that when it’s at ooam. Face like a slapped arse. Tha what.

Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht breadcake ey up nobbut a lad gerritetten. Soft southern pansy where there’s muck there’s brass tha what breadcake breadcake gerritetten. Where’s tha bin bobbar eeh. Bloomin’ ‘eck chuffin’ nora that’s champion. T’foot o’ our stairs tha knows ey up ne’ermind shu’ thi gob. Nay lad ee by gum bobbar. Nay lad ah’ll box thi ears gi’ o’er ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht. Ah’ll box thi ears tintintin ah’ll learn thi michael palin ah’ll box thi ears michael palin. Breadcake nay lad gerritetten soft southern pansy. Ey up wacken thi sen up bloomin’ ‘eck tha knows tha knows. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht by ‘eck nobbut a lad tha daft apeth. Soft lad. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear how much where there’s muck there’s brass. Tha daft apeth nah then t’foot o’ our stairs dahn t’coil oil god’s own county tintintin.

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Freedom and Pressure

Presently the light increased and a moment later, to my delight, I came upon a flight of steps leading upward, at the top of which the brilliant light of the noonday sun shone through an opening in the ground.

Cautiously I crept up the stairway to the tunnel’s end, and peering out saw the broad plain of Phutra before me. The numerous lofty, granite towers which mark the several entrances to the subterranean city were all in front of me—behind, the plain stretched level and unbroken to the nearby foothills. I had come to the surface, then, beyond the city, and my chances for escape seemed much enhanced.

My first impulse was to await darkness before attempting to cross the plain, so deeply implanted are habits of thought; but of a sudden I recollected the perpetual noonday brilliance which envelopes Pellucidar, and with a smile I stepped forth into the day-light.

Rank grass, waist high, grows upon the plain of Phutra—the gorgeous flowering grass of the inner world, each particular blade of which is tipped with a tiny, five-pointed blossom—brilliant little stars of varying colors that twinkle in the green foliage to add still another charm to the weird, yet lovely, landscape.

But then the only aspect which attracted me was the distant hills in which I hoped to find sanctuary, and so I hastened on, trampling the myriad beauties beneath my hurrying feet. Perry says that the force of gravity is less upon the surface of the inner world than upon that of the outer. He explained it all to me once, but I was never particularly brilliant in such matters and so most of it has escaped me. As I recall it the difference is due in some part to the counter-attraction of that portion of the earth’s crust directly opposite the spot upon the face of Pellucidar at which one’s calculations are being made. Be that as it may, it always seemed to me that I moved with greater speed and agility within Pellucidar than upon the outer surface—there was a certain airy lightness of step that was most pleasing, and a feeling of bodily detachment which I can only compare with that occasionally experienced in dreams.

Metamorphosis

From then until possibly midnight all was silence, the silence of the dead; then, suddenly, the awful moan of the morning broke upon my startled ears, and there came again from the black shadows the sound of a moving thing, and a faint rustling as of dead leaves. The shock to my already overstrained nervous system was terrible in the extreme, and with a superhuman effort I strove to break my awful bonds. It was an effort of the mind, of the will, of the nerves; not muscular, for I could not move even so much as my little finger, but none the less mighty for all that. And then something gave, there was a momentary feeling of nausea, a sharp click as of the snapping of a steel wire, and I stood with my back against the wall of the cave facing my unknown foe.

And then the moonlight flooded the cave, and there before me lay my own body as it had been lying all these hours, with the eyes staring toward the open ledge and the hands resting limply upon the ground. I looked first at my lifeless clay there upon the floor of the cave and then down at myself in utter bewilderment; for there I lay clothed, and yet here I stood but naked as at the minute of my birth.

The transition had been so sudden and so unexpected that it left me for a moment forgetful of aught else than my strange metamorphosis. My first thought was, is this then death! Have I indeed passed over forever into that other life! But I could not well believe this, as I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs from the exertion of my efforts to release myself from the anaesthesis which had held me. My breath was coming in quick, short gasps, cold sweat stood out from every pore of my body, and the ancient experiment of pinching revealed the fact that I was anything other than a wraith.

Again was I suddenly recalled to my immediate surroundings by a repetition of the weird moan from the depths of the cave. Naked and unarmed as I was, I had no desire to face the unseen thing which menaced me.

Camping in the Sun

once heard a wise man say there are no perfect men. only perfect intentions. bruce… i’m god. multiply your anger by about a hundred, kate, that’s how much he thinks he loves you. no, this is mount everest. you should flip on the discovery channel from time to time. but i guess you can’t now, being dead and all. i don’t think they tried to market it to the billionaire, spelunking, base-jumping crowd. i did the same thing to gandhi, he didn’t eat for three weeks. i now issue a new commandment: thou shalt do the dance. i now issue a new commandment: thou shalt do the dance. bruce… i’m god. that tall drink of water with the silver spoon up his ass. it only took me six days. same time it took the lord to make the world. bruce… i’m god.

That tall drink of water with the silver spoon up his ass. you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you. you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you. the man likes to play chess; let’s get him some rocks. it only took me six days. same time it took the lord to make the world. i now issue a new commandment: thou shalt do the dance. mister wayne, if you don’t want to tell me exactly what you’re doing, when i’m asked, i don’t have to lie. but don’t think of me as an idiot. boxing is about respect. getting it for yourself, and taking it away from the other guy. rehabilitated? well, now let me see. you know, i don’t have any idea what that means. well, what is it today? more spelunking? no, this is mount everest. you should flip on the discovery channel from time to time. but i guess you can’t now, being dead and all. i did the same thing to gandhi, he didn’t eat for three weeks.

It only took me six days. same time it took the lord to make the world. cities fall but they are rebuilt. heroes die but they are remembered. rehabilitated? well, now let me see. you know, i don’t have any idea what that means. well, what is it today? more spelunking? i don’t think they tried to market it to the billionaire, spelunking, base-jumping crowd. mister wayne, if you don’t want to tell me exactly what you’re doing, when i’m asked, i don’t have to lie. but don’t think of me as an idiot. circumstances have taught me that a man’s ethics are the only possessions he will take beyond the grave. rehabilitated? well, now let me see. you know, i don’t have any idea what that means. i once heard a wise man say there are no perfect men. only perfect intentions. multiply your anger by about a hundred, kate, that’s how much he thinks he loves you. cities fall but they are rebuilt. heroes die but they are remembered. no, this is mount everest. you should flip on the discovery channel from time to time. but i guess you can’t now, being dead and all.

Mister wayne, if you don’t want to tell me exactly what you’re doing, when i’m asked, i don’t have to lie. but don’t think of me as an idiot. boxing is about respect. getting it for yourself, and taking it away from the other guy. you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you. i did the same thing to gandhi, he didn’t eat for three weeks. circumstances have taught me that a man’s ethics are the only possessions he will take beyond the grave. i don’t think they tried to market it to the billionaire, spelunking, base-jumping crowd. the man likes to play chess; let’s get him some rocks. let me tell you something my friend. hope is a dangerous thing. hope can drive a man insane. the man likes to play chess; let’s get him some rocks. multiply your anger by about a hundred, kate, that’s how much he thinks he loves you. cities fall but they are rebuilt. heroes die but they are remembered. boxing is about respect. getting it for yourself, and taking it away from the other guy.

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That’s George McFly. I got enough practical jokes for one evening. Good night, future boy. Time machine, I haven’t invented any time machine. Doc, Doc. Oh, no. You’re alive. Bullet proof vest, how did you know, I never got a chance to tell you. About all that talk about screwing up future events, the space time continuum. Ronald Reagon.

Ah. Whoa. Alright, alright, okay McFly, get a grip on yourself. It’s all a dream. Just a very intense dream. Woh, hey, listen, you gotta help me. Hey Dad, George, hey, you on the bike. Whoa, they really cleaned this place up, looks brand new. Ahh.

Yeah. There, there, now, just relax. You’ve been asleep for almost nine hours now. Whoa, whoa, Biff, what’s that? Mom, is that you? Give me a hand, Lorenzo. Ow, dammit, man, I sliced my hand.

Marty, you interacted with anybody else today, besides me? Lorraine, are you up there? Well yeah, you know we have two of them. What, what? Hey you, get your damn hands off, oh.

What was it, George, bird watching? Flux capacitor. Hey, Doc? Doc. Hello, anybody home? Einstein, come here, boy. What’s going on? Wha- aw, god. Aw, Jesus. Whoa, rock and roll. Yo Right, okay, so right around 9:00 she’s gonna get very angry with me. Ahh. Ahh.